I'm the Guy Who Boots Your Car When You Ignore Tickets: AMA

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 10/15/2015 at 20:49 • Filed to: None

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I’m sitting here watching football, and I figured that everybody here drives and has probably gotten a parking ticket.

So my job is that I’m the guy who drives around and boots the cars of people who don’t pay their parking tickets. You’ve got questions? I’ve got answers.

ttyymmnn > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:50

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Now what?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > ttyymmnn 10/15/2015 at 20:52

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A sawzall is the go to here. Alternatively, if you don't care about the wheel, simply throw the whole thing in a dumpster. I've fished out a few, and then scrapped the attached wheels for fun and profit!

GeorgeyBoy > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:53

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Y U DO DIS

TheHondaBro > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:56

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No ticket so far. I’m clean as fuck.

Viggen > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:57

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Y U DO DIS!?

Berang > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:57

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I didn’t know any city still used boots. I haven’t seen one in ages. I haven’t mourned for them.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > GeorgeyBoy 10/15/2015 at 20:57

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When I took the job, I thought I'd hate it, but I was working a job I hated with a 100 mile round trip commute and this was local. Now that I'm doing it, I kinda love it. It takes more than one ticket to get a boot, and we can kinda use our own judgement about when we should let somebody off, so I rarely feel bad.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:57

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Have you ever had any crazy confrontations while putting one on? Also, what’s the shrinkage like on those boots? II just wonder how many you lose from people driving off with them.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:58

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Does booting feel less than or equal to as successful as those that actually tow the car? Like, do you constantly feel that you're just *that* close to being in The Show?

jariten1781 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:59

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Been shot at yet?

Wobbles the Mind > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 20:59

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Do they come in bright green? I’d like something to match the calipers on my hybrid Porsche.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Berang 10/15/2015 at 20:59

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Oh yeah, my company is in a bunch of cities...some pretty big ones, too. Without boots, there’s really no enforcement to the parking tickets, so they’re kind of a necessary evil if you want to collect that sweet sweet ticket money.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:00

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Do you take bribes?

whoarder is tellurium > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:00

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How many boots do you have on you when you’re on patrol?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > TheHondaBro 10/15/2015 at 21:00

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As long as you read the signs and feed the meter, you're fine. I honestly don't get how people get as many tickets as they do...I've never gotten one.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Viggen 10/15/2015 at 21:01

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See above. Mostly, because it's a paycheck.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > whoarder is tellurium 10/15/2015 at 21:02

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Usually like 8 on the van, and another 20 or so in our office. The city likes us to do 5-10 a day, any more than that and it makes a lot of extra work in court that they don't want.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Wobbles the Mind 10/15/2015 at 21:03

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People have painted them before turning them in before. In another city, they apparently had one “painted” brown, so...I mean there's that.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:06

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What would you say the nicest car you’ve ever booted was?

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:06

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Has anyone ever offered you anything weird in order for you to take the boot off?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 10/15/2015 at 21:06

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One guy got in trouble for that. He took a bribe to not put a boot on, and the person who bribed him thought he was going to wipe out their tickets...something we can’t do. When they got a thing about the tickets, they sold the guy out.

Mostly, we just have people that are really nice to us (no actual bribes, just respect) in hopes that we don’t boot their customers. It doesn’t really help, but we’re likely to get there more quickly when they need a boot released anyway.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jariten1781 10/15/2015 at 21:08

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No, but people take our pictures CONSTANTLY, so I’m probably on Facebook somewhere. We wear police radios, so if we’re threatened there's going to be a squad car there in about 30 seconds.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:10

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What's your craziest story about booting a car? Craziest thing you've seen a person do, craziest person in general, etc?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 10/15/2015 at 21:12

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I personally haven’t, but I haven’t been on the job super long. My company prefers we avoid confrontation...if we find a car that we can boot, we don’t do it if people are in the car or hanging around. Apparently on a day I was off a guy tried to fight my coworker, but when we’re both working people tend to leave us alone, since we’re both pretty big guys.

I'd say we lose one every other month. Sometimes they turn up (one attached to a whee in a dumpster, one at a scrap yard), sometimes we never see them again. There's no real enforcement on it either, which kinda sucks...there's a $500 fee we charge but the city doesn't let us enforce it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 10/15/2015 at 21:13

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Surprisingly no. But I’m told guys have been offered ‘favors’ by women to take the boot off.

Berang > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:13

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Are there any wheels which cannot be booted?

Viggen > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:14

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Well I’m not an asshat so I’ve never had a parking ticket.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 10/15/2015 at 21:15

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I’ve towed before, so I’d say we’re about level. The city doesn’t want to tow anything, we tow maybe 1/20 of the cars we boot, so I probably make the city more money than the guys who tow.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Viggen 10/15/2015 at 21:16

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Exactly. I don't get how people get tickets like they do...everything is clearly marked, just feed the meter and you're fine.

Viggen > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:18

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I like parking lots. And garages. And fields. No meters to deal with there.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Berang 10/15/2015 at 21:18

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Really wide ones. I mean I can boot a 24” wheel, but the lugs won’t be blocked, so they can just pull the wheel and remove the boot at home. We generally don’t bother with those unless it’s in a really good spot (right by the police station for example).

Urambo Tauro > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:18

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Have you ever had to boot (or tow) a car that you recognized from having already busted it before for a previous offence?

marshknute > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:21

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Do the boots damage the wheels? Seems like it would scratch the hell out of the rims, but I have no experience with boots.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) 10/15/2015 at 21:23

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Okay, so this will sound backwards. When you get a ticket, it’s $25. After a time it triples to $75. If you get three of those, you get booted. If you go to court, you can talk to the judge and he’ll knock them back down to their original amount. So with that in mind, the craziest thing I've seen somebody do is pay in full when I told them that if they just went to go see the judge, it would be knocked down from $1000 to like $300. I assume she had a warrant out for her or something.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 10/15/2015 at 21:24

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Brand new Mercedes S Class. I was pretty careful putting the boot on, even though technically once I start the process the car is city property until the boot is removed.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > marshknute 10/15/2015 at 21:26

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Nah, not generally. The boot has two pins that engage the wheel to keep it from moving, and they both have rubber covers. Then the lug blocker has a rubber pad as well...the only time I've seen a boot damage a wheel is when somebody tried to rip the boot off.

PS9 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:27

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How many times have you been shot at?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Urambo Tauro 10/15/2015 at 21:28

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Oh yes. There are plates and cars we see every day...there’s one car I’ve personally booted twice in the last three months. Then he got all new tickets and I was trying to leave a notice and he drove off because he thought I was going to boot him again.

There's also cars we just missed that we keep and eye out for, and cars that ripped the boot off that we really want to see again...if we do we tow it immediately.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > PS9 10/15/2015 at 21:30

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None so far, knock on wood. Most people are cool, and we try to avoid confrontation...we don't boot a car if somebody is in it (though one time there was a guy taking a nap in a truck and we didn't see him, he woke up when I stuck the boot on it) or if there's people around.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Viggen 10/15/2015 at 21:31

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Parking lots are the scofflaw’s friend. We can only boot on city streets. Or if it's one we really want, and they're in a driveway but with a tire on the sidewalk, I can boot that tire.

PS9 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:36

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Say your about to boot a car with some strange rims on it. You feel like something’s up here, but you go to boot it anyway because...well you have no choice right? It’s your job.

So you’re down by the wheel and you hear a strange buzzing. You don’t think anything of it. You continue and in process of mounting the boot you touch the car and are electrocuted. Not dead, but it was a real good zap, and it wasn’t by accident. The car has been electrified specifically to prevent booting. Does this qualify as an assault on a police officer/City official/whatever? Can the owner be charged with a felony in this case and face jail time?

WhereAreMyPants > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 21:39

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Yes, tell me again about how clear parking signage is.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > PS9 10/15/2015 at 21:39

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Hmm. Sure sounds like assault to me, though it’s better for them if it’s me it happens to and not a cop. The city likes the cops better than they like us.

I would get the car towed immediately though, that's for sure. No chance that gets them out of the booting.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > WhereAreMyPants 10/15/2015 at 21:42

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It's pretty straight forward where I am. It's either a 2-4-6-8 or 10 hour zone, which is marked. No parking within 25 feet of the corner, no overnight parking. But yeah, lots of other places have fucked up signage.

RazoE > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:07

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Is this lady in the training video they show you?

atfsgeoff > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:08

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What is your opinion of Angle Grinder Man?

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:10

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So no.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 10/15/2015 at 22:16

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It's just not worth it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > atfsgeoff 10/15/2015 at 22:19

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If you cut off one of our boots, there's a (rarely enforced) $500 fine that probably ain't going to be sent to Angle Grinder Man. Also, you'd have a tough time getting one of mine off with an angle grinder...you'd need Sawzall Man.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > RazoE 10/15/2015 at 22:22

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That was pretty good, actually. If somebody is in the car, I wouldn't even mess with it, let alone try to lock a boot while somebody is in it like that guy did. If they want to get away that badly, I'll let them go.

atfsgeoff > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:24

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Normally a gas powered angle grinder would go through metal a LOT faster than a sawzall, unless you’re referring to a sawzall’s ability to access a thinner part of the boot than a big, cumbersome grinder could.

Ike > WhereAreMyPants 10/15/2015 at 22:26

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Is this DC? It looks like DC

WhereAreMyPants > Ike 10/15/2015 at 22:28

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Why, yes. Yes, it is.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:29

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Well... Never hurts to ask.

Ike > WhereAreMyPants 10/15/2015 at 22:30

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I didn’t cheat... On a second look I saw the area code on one of those.

I know DC is very confusing for outsiders. Once you get used to the dumbass signs it isn't so bad

WhereAreMyPants > Ike 10/15/2015 at 22:37

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I’m not an outsider, and I still get it wrong sometimes. I do on-site services, so I’m all over the city, street parking all day every day, and probably average 1-2 tickets a month, usually for staying longer than 2 hours.

My favorite was the ticket and tow for parking in a street sweeping zone. The regular signage was on one side of a fairly large tree that was right on the corner of a driveway, so I fed the meter and went on my way. Come back out, and my car is gone. Turns out the sweeping sign is behind the tree, facing away, out across the driveway, opposite the side where the actual parking is. 2 hours later, I finally get the towing people on the phone, to find out they towed it 2 blocks away, dropped it in a no-parking zone, and wrote me another ticket for parking illegally, there. I got the second ticket overturned, at least, but that day sucked.

Captain of the Enterprise > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 22:50

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What’s your official job title and if you don’t mind what do you make? It could be a good potential job while I’m in college.

facw > RazoE 10/15/2015 at 23:09

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How about this one:

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/15/2015 at 23:11

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How many boots can you legally put on a car?

pip bip - choose Corrour > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/16/2015 at 05:08

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got a parking ticket 10+ years ago in Geelong , ignored it.

a couple of months later , received a follow up letter , ignored it.

never heard about it again.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/16/2015 at 06:17

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Usually if you just have one, you're fine. Here you have to get 3 to get booted, and it used to be 5. Though apparently they do sometimes send them to collection companies.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Captain of the Enterprise 10/16/2015 at 06:22

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When I found it on CL, they listed it as “scofflaw field agent”. The more common term is “parking enforcement officer”, except that where I work that’s what they call the ticket writers as well.

It's actually a pretty good job for a student, since there's no part of your job that you take home with you...when you leave for the day you're out for the day. We start above $30k, plus benefits.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 10/16/2015 at 06:23

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At a time? One is usually sufficient. But if I boot a car, and they get a payment plan to get it taken off, I can boot it again the day after they fail to comply with the payment plan. So I can boot cars an infinite number of times.

jariten1781 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/16/2015 at 07:21

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I did small value collections a long time ago (think loans less than 500 bucks, and rent to own stuff) and got shot at twice. Was curious if you all had it the same since the general hatred seems equivalent. We had no police backup (in fact they generally hated us just as much and would only take reports if harrassed them).

Good times.

Ike > WhereAreMyPants 10/16/2015 at 09:37

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Oh that sucks, yeah having to move and park around DC as part of the job has to suck, sorry to hear thAt.

It is funny how inept this city is at everything but parking enforcement

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/16/2015 at 10:12

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Actually, that makes total sense.

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > WhereAreMyPants 10/17/2015 at 19:55

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This all makes sense to me until I get to the bottom box: “EXCEPT 7AM-6:30PM FRIDAY”.

Tohru > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/17/2015 at 22:47

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Don’t you ever feel bad about enforcing arbitrary parking rules designed to profit off innocent motorists?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Tohru 10/17/2015 at 22:59

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No, I used to think that about the parking rules, but I see it differently now. The city is mostly 2 hour parking...you have to move your car every 2 hours if you park in the street. To me that makes sense, otherwise you just have people basically making spots their personal parking spots. The city wants to keep new people flowing through the city to its businesses, and 2 hour parking helps with that.

As for profiting off the motorists, this is a heavily democrat-leaning state. The money collected by what I do and by the tickets written goes into improving the city, which is what they’ve voted for by electing Democrats.

I used to feel bad for the people who were nice to me, but now enough people have been total jerks that I'm over it. I do still occasionally let people go if they've got a good reason.

WhereAreMyPants > Svart Smart, traded in his Smart 10/18/2015 at 12:59

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That’s kind of my point. Our signage isn’t unclear when it’s used properly, but they just keep adding modifiers until you get this. Fucking everywhere. That’s not an abnormally complicated sign for here.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/18/2015 at 19:12

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Whats the fanciest vehicle you booted?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 10/18/2015 at 19:49

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A new Mercedes S-Class. But I’ve got my eye on a GT-R that I pass every day that belongs to a college student...it’s only a matter of time until it has sufficient tickets to boot it.

banjo cat ghost of oppo past > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/20/2015 at 12:11

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If I have an outstanding ticket and I park at one of those new meters that require you to enter in your driver’s license...will a meter attendant zip right up and put a boot on my car?

1111111111111111111111 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/25/2015 at 23:38

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I’ve never had a ticket, and in my town never seen a boot. There are plenty on park here and we tow ya. The boot seems like a return to the stocks for a car. I do not like it. You should know where these people live, so arrest them, not the car.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > 1111111111111111111111 10/26/2015 at 06:27

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Most of the time we’re talking about 300-400 dollars, and we did away with debtors prisons a while back, so arresting them would probably be a bit strong. I didn't care for the booting system until I started doing the job, now it makes more sense. It's kind of a necessary evil, if you're going to use taxes and tickets to fund city improvements, you need enforcement.